Or

A man or a woman or a person of some other gender entered my house. Then he or she or heshe successfully or unsuccessfully tried to sell or give me for free a vacuum cleaner, or have solicited or unsolicited sex with me, or provide me or any member of my family enlightenment from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I told the man or woman or manwoman that, yes, I would like to have a vacuum cleaner because my carpet is filthy, or no, I have no need for a vacuum cleaner because I have floors made not of carpet but of wood or plastic or rubber or something else, or that yes or no, I would or wouldn’t like to have solicited or unsolicited sex with you because my wife or husband or wifesband or girlfriend or boyfriend or goyfriend or friend with benefits either does or doesn’t exist or isn’t around at the moment, or that I could or couldn’t use any or a little or a lot of enlightenment from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because my current religion or lack of religion isn’t or is already spiritually satisfying or unsatisfying. The man or the woman or the whatever told me great, I’ll just be leaving then, or here’s where you can or cannot sign on a dotted or solid line and here is your new vacuum cleaner, or I’m sorry you don’t get any vacuum cleaner then, or I’m sorry or happy to bother or provide you with a vacuum cleaner today, sir or ma’am or si’am, and I think I am or am not going now so you can put away the knife or the sawed-off shotgun or your penis or your breasts or your penisbreasts, or okay, let’s have or not have solicited or unsolicited sex now, or you have a very nice or a very small house, or you have a comfortable or smelly couch, or God cares or doesn’t care about your suffering or your happiness, or God is or isn’t your loving Heavenly Father or Mother or Brother or Lover, or I’m sorry or not sorry to bother you while you’re having or not having sex with God or your vacuum cleaner.